….the catching nor the rearing of frogs threatens nuclear war, nor is it a question of war and peace, discussion on the item should be postponed until the Soviet delegation has an opportunity to study all the implications of serving frogs’ legs for world peace. In the mean time, the Bulgarian suggests, Indians should be allowed to rear frogs and Frenchmen to eat them, in short, the status quo may be maintained.
To Papa, this would have been an eminent compromise, but for the sudden interruption from Peking’s delegate who, rising on a point of order, accused the Soviet delegate of ulterior motives in collaborating with French (& Western) imperialism to deplete the poor countries’ dwindling natural resource of frogs. He warned ominously
that the Capitalist & social imperialists were really planning to extend their gluttony from frogs to cock-roaches & lizards and thus deprive the 800 m. Chinese sons of Mao Tse Tung of their daily meal!
It was at this stage, so the story might go, that Papa became a little indignant in order to avoid getting sick, and spoke out.
Papa – I will not tolerate the sickening comparison made by the Chinese delegate between India’s delicate frogs and those crawling things from China.
Mummy (waking up suddenly) – Oh! You have again disturbed my sleep!
Papa – I reject the charge categorically. India has never disturbed world peace.
Mummy – You are all the time worrying about the world, never about me.
Papa – Mr. Chairman, India is not a selfish country to worry about itself all the time. I can assure you even Shyamu will not touch a cock roach from China.
Mummy – Why do you want to send Shyamu to China?
Papa – Never, never on this earth, will we allow a single Indian frog to migrate to China.
Mummy – What did you say, is there a frog in our bed? Please call Shyamu to throw it out.
Papa – Mr. Chairman, Shyamu has just staged a walk-out.
Mummy – Now you are threatening to walk out on me ….
Papa – Yes, because I have to catch all those lizards the undistinguished delegate from
China has introduced in this room.
Mummy – You seem to be dreaming of a zoo…
Papa – No, Chou-en Lai is not yet out of hospital; only his delegate, regretfully, is.
Mummy – But we do not have to go to hospital, do we? We were there only this afternoon.
Papa – Amazing, truly amazing that there should be a hospital for lizards & cockroaches and none for frogs. The international community must never tolerate such discrimination.
Mummy– Poor Papa, you are over-worked. Even in your dreams, you have to fight. I have no more questions. Go to sleep.
To this perhaps there was a deep sonorous snore from Papa indicating that the UN Political Committee had adjourned for lunch & the French Delegate gone to partake of his frog’s legs, Papa to the library to look at the newspapers for the latest jokes & puns and the Chinese delegate to – you know what.
I do not think any of this could have happened or at least that it could have been so profound. But since Mummy does not remember a word, I am going to swear to her, after getting it typed, that this is what actually happened, that I dreamed it all over again.
I shall report Mummy’s reaction next week as the bag is about to close and there is
no time to show it to her and get her authentic reaction.
Could you add to the dream sequence, perhaps at the resumed afternoon session of the Pol. Committee?!!
P.S. Good News!
Mummy had another thorough exam by a specialist who said she was absolutely
all right, that there was no trouble of any kind at all! Whoopee!”